( it's large, but luscious! )

This one may well by my favorite entry from this whole snake assignment. It's so crisply and sharply drawn, and the concept is simple, yet stellar. Thanks to padre_elephante for this happy piece of swank snakiness!

M-A

oriontsuki has made this bloody fantastic, 3-dimensional wondersnake, complete with what appears to be a swingin’ alto sax. Quoth the artist: “It's not dry yet, hence the toothpick to prevent it from falling. It will be in a few days. Then I'll paint it :D Fire it, glaze and fire it again…The leaves and green things are there to imprint the clay.. I'll remove them once it's dry.”

I’ve got a place on my shelf set aside for this sexy slithermonkey:



ladymalchav has given us a whole slew of snakes, each with a different musical preference and each more lovely than the last. For starters, we have our Country-Western-loving cowpoke serpent. He apparently “has never even seen a real horse, but he can line-dance like no one's business”:

=

“They didn't have any Converse in Indie-rock snake's size, but that's cool, he can just stuff some sweat socks in there.”:



Rap Snake is a hoot, using his “Tactile-Telekinesis to keep from being 'Naked Alla Time Snake'. That or he just ate a hippo.” I think he’s probably also pining for a lil’ bling:

thewalkingman kicks off the next round of slither with this faboo Eagle-loving, baggy pants-wearing (or is it just “pant-wearing”?), wife-beater sporting serpent. His underwear is even visible thanks to the jean-sag, which I’ve always found to be oddly sexy:



eschewv has made a pretty damn groovy snake what reminds me of all those trippy 60s & 70s line drawing ads and animations. I think we can reasonably assume that this is one reptile who knows how to rock a flashback:



madam_h gives us this snappy, classy, jazzy one-cobra horn section. The audience can fuck off – I’m willing to bet Slick’s jam would be considered high art in SoHo.



_faroth_ brings out the rebel coil with this punk rock snake, who’s really workin’ that two-toned mohawk like nobody’s bizniz. Anarchy in the Reptile House, faggots!



These are all fantasmagasmic, kidshrooms; danke!

M-A

Thanks in no small part to some promotionalness from the lovely and talented benchilada, we have our first round of music-loving snakes to gawk at:

faylnncortez starts the day off right with a rasta snake that wakes and bakes:


nedroidcomics gives us a flashy, floozy, rainbowlicious snake who’s most likely peaking right now. The onomatopoeia is absosmurfly perfecto:



mrnihil brings on the emo with a snake who’s not afraid to show off his cuts and adds that “he also has DSPS, which isn't really a rare disease, but it's still a thing, and it conflicts with his morning shift at Burger King.”



lookforthewoman is responsible for perhaps my favorite thus far, aptly titled “Raver Snake with Pink Eye.” I think Monet had a series with the same name:



Although…fairyarmadillo’s Snakey Stardust just might be in the running for fav. The blissed-out expression is aces!




I know the rest of you kids have some snakes in ya. Let’s see your musical serpents!

M-A

Many more fine and befuddling examples of watch-paper prints can be found over at BibliOdyssey

Who wants to make some random art for us all to gawk at? You, motherfucker, you. Here's the skinny:

Draw a snake, a snake who likes a very specific kind of music.

Optional: The snake can have a rare disease, if you see fit.

azdaja_dafema provides us with a really swanky airship, complete with both balloons and sails, because this is a pragmatic airship, dammit! I like the way the little flaggish thing on the mast is showing wind direction, and the fact that it’s shaped quite a lot like those boat platters at some sushi establishments.

Hoooo dogies, does this ever make me hornier than a Catholic priest at Toys "R" Us.

harper_knight was kind enough to whip up this lovely and smashingly weird airship, as per the art request.

(Click on the image for a larger version)

I dig the cell-shadiness of the clouds and the sorta retro shape of the balloon, but I’m especially fond of the basket, which I’m pretty sure is an inflated grey whale with stained glass windows.

More airships welcome, faggots.

M-A

Happy Tuesday, kidshrooms. It's been too long since I've done this:

Draw an airship. It can be whatever kind you like; a blimp, a hot air balloon, anything.

Optional: Make the captain of the airship some kind of hybrid animal. Who likes cheese. A lot.

M-A

These clocks are so hideously beautiful, that I desire them. I desire them for my walls. I especially desire the red and white squid one, which I think might even give me a weird kind of timepiece boner. I’ve been sort of able to find more info here, but I still can’t find any buying links, which may be for the best, as I assume these suckers are way outta my budget range.

Unrelated to the image:

Tell us what you believe

-and-

Tell us what you do not believe

-and/or-

Draw us a turtle with graffiti on its carapace

G'mornin', kids!

I'd like you to draw a toaster.

And you'd just love to draw a toaster, wouldn't you?

Optional: An army of toast can be felling the toaster beast.

azdaja_dafema presents us with a sexy, dancing frog, and a leering, lecherous duck who’s peeking a gander at Kermit’s package. I’m really digging the movement in this one, what with all the blue swooshy motions and whatnot. From the artist:

You said sexy frog, so he had to have a top hat and cane. Then the top hat turned purple and only one creature can have a purple top hat, childhood memories insist. So the sexy broadway frog became a strange aquatic Top Cat. And what's Top Cat without his mate Choo Choo? At least, I could have sworn that was the pink cat in a white poloneck's name.



But cartoon frogs can’t have all the fun, oh no. oriontsuki gives us shots of real, live frogs and even some sexy-ass frog-fucking for our midday giggle-pleasure. These aren’t just any frogs, though. She had a pond in her backyard and it’s filled with these amphibians. Oh, how I envy people with backyard ponds! This one looks like it’s all kindsa nifty.



And now, some amphibians gettin' nasty.



Right, so there are two takes on the modern frog. Let's see yours, buck-o.

M-A

Right, so it's Tuesday and you wanna do some art, hai? Hai.

So get out your pens, pencils, paints and/or cameras, and make me a frog. And make it a sexy frog, why don't ya?

azdaja_dafema is the one and only person to contribute an alien last week and it’s one of my favorite aliens in faux-alien history. Nothing says good morning like a Dalek with a creeping tentacle in lurking in the frame. I also love that he has butterflies all around his head, which is topped by a green puffin.

Hey kiddios!

Tell us what you're going to be doing this weekend, and whether that's what you'd LIKE to be doing or what you HAVE to be doing. If it's what you have to be doing, tell us what you'd prefer to be up to.

Also: I'm still waiting on some alien art. I'm not posting another art request until I get at least one alien, you lazy swine.

M-A

Mattias Adolfsson is a wonderfully slushy Swedish illustrator (who created my keen Vacuum Cleaner Collection and) who posts daily pieces of kooky, adorable art on his blog.

In recent weeks, he's been telling a hilarious and weirdly endearing story entitled The Blog Empire, which you shouldn’t miss if you’re a fan of warm-hearted outré narratives. The plot involves the training of Chippendales dancers (by a power-hungry blogger) to be an army that uses military-grade thongs to achieve its aims. Each chapter is short, sweet, and filled with WTF adorability. For your convenience, I’ve made sequential links to the installments:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Part Seven
Part Eight
Part Nine
Part Ten

That's right, whiz-kids, I want to see your take on extra-terrestrial life. It can be a classic or obscure type of alien, one of your own imagining, or one that you've shamelessly stolen.

Photos will do fine as well, if you happen to be an alien.

M-A

oriontsuki gives us our first batch of Death Row Last Meals of the day, and it looks luscious! The accompanying explanation: 'Party' dinner for my mother's birthday for a dozen people. Since I was on my own to prepare I made it simple *points* Brik sheets in sort of large cups, filled with several pre-cooked vegetables and a piece of goat cheese. You then cover it with another Brik sheet, grease the sheets with olive oil (little quantities of course) and oven for a certain time :P




Yep, if I had one meal left, that one wouldn’t be a bad choice at all. I never say no to goat cheese.

What would you want for your last meal?

M-A

(Click for larger versions)

funkygreendog presents a late entry to the squid call. She freely admits that an octopus is not a squid, but wanted to play with the “Octo-pie” pun and I’m glad she did. I mean, that looks fucking delicious, that does. And I’m really digging the interplay between the line ink and soft watercolor. This is one of my favorites since I started doing this “I demand art now!” business.

Keep it up, kids!

Today's random art request:

Draw, sculpt or photograph what you would like your last meal to be, were you on death row.

hebrokeaway presents us with a superlatively weird incarnation of squid, saying that it’s “more of a hybrid with my favorite superhero's alter-ego” than the superhero proper. I’m seeing a water cooler and a laser printer, which could fit into a Daily Planet setting, so I’m guessing this could be Squid Kent. Damn, I want a tentacle for a tie, too! I’m especially digging the style this was created in. It wouldn’t be at all out of place as an illustration in The Believer.

The first squid thus far is brought to us by hynkle, the number 12, the letter Q and the Dept. of Invertebrate Headwear. This specimen is clearly angry, due to the loss of its two food-snatching tentacles, and who wouldn’t be? It’s worn by one of Dr. Katz’s patients, who is either taking a bath in a Japanese apartment, or is kneeling in an Endless Pool designed especially for pygmies:



Always having to compete in the Cephalopods on Heads Arena, archanglrobriel gives us a deliciously testy Magneto, tapping his foot whilst being orally and nasally molested by an adorably horny kraken. Trust me kids, you don’t even wanna know what “snorgle” means.



These are fantastic! I tells ya, swee’peas, I’ve been psychotickled by all the spontaneous art you’ve been spitting out since I started asking. Keep your pens, cameras and clay out and ready for more! It’s not too late to make more squids, or hell, any of the older ones, too. I seriously can’t believe we only got one Jesus, but luckily, He was one awesome, badass Jesus.

ARTISTS!

I want you to draw a squid.

Optional: Make the squid a hybrid with your favorite superhero.

benchilada, a real robo-aficionado brings us this new take on the classic robot-with-brain-in-glass-dome motif. This robot is clearly a bit broken, as the exposed bits and pieces denote, but thankfully, it has that awesome, kinda scary-phallic arm-n-claw, which could be used for chucking babies into incinerators, or for innocently holding a “for sale” sign (to sell itself to people who need babies flung into incinerators)



This haunting and arresting image is brought to us by azdaja_dafema, who has included accompanying text from a Lorca poem. I don’t speak Spanish, but I think this translates as something akin to “Seven hearts, I have, but I’ve never seen my own.” Am I right, kids?

I dig the riveted head without eyes or a mouth and the resigned, but hopeful pose; it really captures that Lorcan spirit that I dig to pieces. And that’s one cute as fuck hedgehog, to boot.

These rock. I demand more robots. My hunger for robots will never be quenched and I know damn well a lot more of you out there are artists of some order who also dig robots. Cough them puppies up!

Like Jeff Buckley with a vagina. That’s one way to describe Kim Garrison, and while I’ve never seen or had tea with aforementioned vagina, I’m reasonably convinced of its existence and absolutely confident that it’s attached to a fresh and fierce songstress with a penchant for driving rock lullabies and gritty, gut-punching melodic hooks that hang in the air and do flips.

I have, however, had tea and some lovely Bangladeshi cuisine with Ms. Garrison, whose name betrays her aggressive, almost militant approach to the musical arts, but not her incandescent, charmed beauty or her wise but child-like grace. She infuses these dichotomous elements of her personality into the sultry siren song of a debut album, You Are Loved. To lush and lovely results.

“Come, let’s take this boat out to sea; I won’t let the tides of my heart drown me,” she invites in the opening line of the album’s first track, Treasure. Rife with maritime references and metaphors, this auditory introduction lulls the listener into Garrison’s aggressive, but lilting world of brazen love, loss and longing. Treasure opens the book of You Are Loved and serves as its seafaring table of contents. It’s keen. It’s sexy. It’s simple and it's sanguine.

Garrison's You Are Loved explores postmodern human issues in a haunted and subtle context, always coupled with her unique brand of sweetly pained vocal attack. She says that her songs are inspired by “the cities of Paris, San Francisco, New York and Galway, the writing of Anais Nin and the artwork of Gustave Moreau.” For those unfamiliar with Moreau, his work is both polished and dirty, lushly layered and intricately detailed, rife with mythological symbology and sexual energy. Yet, his figures and characters sport lifeless, ambiguous, runway modelesque blank stares, which drop buckets of disquiet and uncertainty into his pieces. Much the same could be said of the songs on this album: Lavish, beautiful, detailed, layered, and speaking to a kind of passionate emptiness that’s textually evasive.

“Beware of water; she’ll pull you in, and just like your lover, you’ll be fooled again” Garrison sings, as though she and water had a bittersweet night of angry, stinging words and hot, boiling sex, followed by a bloody and bruised, bittwersweet sunrise with perfect apple butter on stale toast. Songs like this third track hit the ears like muddled memories, at once familiar and alien, they sound like they could be lost songs from some classical rock past that never was. In Anything Alive, Garrison plays with soulful riffs that make like waves breaking on the senses, and explores the shores of self-medication and injury: “one hand on the bottle; one eye on my need.”

This push and pull between longing and loss, love and (at least emotional or metaphorical) death is central to You Are Loved, right down to its likely mocking title. It’s a valentine to hearts that are lost at sea, and its imagery and guitar-driven melodies are a testament to that allegory. The album ends with a repining discourse titled I Am The Cosmos, which howls to the conflict between self-pity and self- aggrandizement. It’s an anthem for people like me, who wear our hearts on our sleeves, let our ideas and emotions have free range, and take the consequences like pros. “Every night, I tell myself I am the cosmos, I am the wind” Garrison sings, and I’m there. I’m so there. Every night, I’m a spiral galaxy, colliding with other galaxies, and watching our arms spin, spin, out of control and fly in the face of gravity.

You can buy a hard copy of Kim Garrison’s You Are Loved from the artist’s site (where you can also listen to free samples, cheap-asses!), or if you prefer digital downloads, you can zip over to Amazon , Amazon UK, or search for her name on iTunes.

Enjoy, kiddies. I’m sure loving the stuffing outta this shit.

M-A

I want to see (or hear!) some original robot-themed art and I want to see it now, my psychedelic mushroom kids.

Optional: Your robot can also have a hedgehog, blood orange, chinchilla, horny toad or Federico García Lorca for a pet.

I expect great things from you!

M-A

Comics pioneer, Act-I-Vate contributor, master of fatboy-on-fatboy horror superhero sci-fi social satire action, Ryan Roman [bobo_dreams]has contributed the first Jesus of this weekend’s Parade-O-Christs. Let’s give it up for Zombie Jesus, who is sporting a magnificent jagged and gore-soaked halo, and some spilt intestines what would make excellent undead summer sausages. This is likely the image we’ll all henceforth see seared in our brains whenever we hear someone scream, “JESUS FUCK!”

Hey kiddios,

How's about drawing your rendition of Jesus? It'll be totally hep.

Urban Camouflage is one of my favorite new reality hacking trends.

"Urban Camouflage deals with the question how to camouflage oneself and one’s identity in the urban space. Our costumes are inspired by the «ghillie suits», the military camouflage suit. It was an adventure to wear the suit in the stores because of the conflicts with the employees, the reaction of the customers and also to see the pretty well camouflage effect in a real situation."

Laughing Squid

My old pal karmabreeze gives us one of her photos from a few years back. I’ve always liked this one a lot. The shades work well to give the image a lot of depth and texture, but also allow for the ears to look perfectly congruous with her head. The one downfall is that in a B&W image, you can’t see how strikingly green her pretty eyes are.

duosiceprincess is become Catwoman, rowr! Fear her snarky B-movie-slashing claws!



buboniclou gives us a slightly more literal take. A woman with a cat can surely be called a catwoman. A conversation seems to be taking place here, as both of their expressions betray two sides of a debate. I wonder who won...



archanglrobriel outdoes himself with this wondrously trashy take on Ms. Purrrfection; The concept of the pic is in itself delicious, as we rarely think about how Selina Kyle defecates, but I’m especially fond of the little details: The disgruntled, groggy morning face; the fire hazard cigarette perched dangerously near the newspaper; the “don’t even try that line on me, motherfucker” retractable nails; the adorably pigeon-toed, slippered tootsies; and the Art Frahm-style panties around the ankles. (alas, with no celery to overkill the reference)

Seriously, mushroom gods, had I realized how much fun I’d have demanding original art from you, I’d have started this long ago.

M-A

Ahoy bitches,

Where my catwomen at?

M-A

Happy Monday, kinder-tots.

Aching for a little springboardiness of an extra- cirricular assignment? 'Course you are, ya mushroom, 'course you are.

And SO:

Draw Catwoman for me. Not Lee Merriweather, Julie Newmar, Eartha Kitt, Halle Berry or Michelle Pheifer as Catwoman. Your own take on Catwoman.

And make her awesome.

M-A

My very good and scary-talented friend and oft-collaborator, Jen Gillette (She’s much sharper than her namesake) makes every kind of art you can imagine. From stunning, emotive and deeply weird paintings to comic book style line drawings to luscious vegan cupcakes and samosas to original and upcycled clothing, which is what I’m gushing about today:

[Click on the images for more info on each piece as well as pricing and ording info]



“The Alice Collection is a reimagining of the Alice books’ characters for everyday adventures through Wonderland. This is the Alice skirt. Alice’s classic blue and white pinafore is rendered in rich teal corduroy with a single panel of creamy off-white corduroy. The off-white panel is detailed with three tiered pockets; their stacked sizes and mismatched buttons will help you to remember which side of the mushroom is in which pocket. It’s high-waisted with a wide black elastic waist and a zipper for a perfect fit. All the seams and edges are serger-finished for durable wear and a polished look.”





“I don’t know about you, but I sometimes love to play at fairy tales whilst gamboling about the woods. As I pick my way through the undergrowth, eyes peeled for the most elusive mushrooms, my imagination unspools impromptu tales of quests, witches, fairies, and monsters. This skirt, with its fairy tale prairie tale styling and mushroom motif, is the perfect costume for such an adventure.”





“Named for Mexican goth girls, the Darketa Dress: Reina Edition is a cultural collage. The soft, lightweight black corduroy sets off a central panel of The Virgin Mary on a brilliant red background. The waist is overlaid by gorgeous ivory and metallic gold lace, purchased as a remnant from the Columbus Ballet. An extra long tie belt encircles the waist, and a separate petticoat fills the wide arms of the circle-skirt with fistfuls of black tulle. Worn without the petticoat, the Reina Edition can be dressed down and layered with tights, fun boots, and thermal shirts for every day winter wear. Worn with the petticoat, anything is possible: opera gloves, fishnets, garlands of roses, sky-high stilettos. This is one of those rare dresses that can take you from hiking in the wintery woods straight to a swinging cocktail party without batting an eyelash.”

Check out her etsy shop for all your one-of-a-kind, sure-to-render-you-the-sassy-envy-of-your-pals clothing needs. If you see something you like that doesn’t have your measurements, send her a note and she’ll probably be willing to make you a similar (albeit not identical) wearable that’s tailor made to fit your bitchin’ bod.

All items made by pirates, for pirates.

Stop and point skyward as you run to the shelter, because here comes the Big Green Guy, Godzilla himself!

My friend Sarah made this stompin’ keen rendition in which the bane of Tokyo spits his fire whilst pausing to ponder the simple, elegant beauty of a single flower in an otherwise empty meadow:



Thirty-story-tall radioactive mutant reptiles live for beauty, too, kids.

yud took a more ASCII approach, giving us King Ghidorah’s arch nemesis composed mainly of 8s and Ps. Rawr, indeed!

              _____
          ,-''     `-.
          [   RAWR!   '
           -.._____  :
                   `._\
                      `:                 :''''''''''''':
                                         :.............:
                         _ooooo.         :             :
                     _c_,888>>88.        :''''''''''''':
                     $$$88888888'.       :             :
                   _  '8888PPP' ,!..     :.............:
                 ,$$h888888b    `!'`.    :             :
                _ `;'8888888b    `! `!.  :''''''''''''':
               d$$.|88888888._    `. `!. :             :
              _ `'888888888!"P'   `!.  `.:.............:
             $$$'888888J88b        `!,  `!             :
             `"'8888888888P         `!.  `!............:
             ,88888888888P           `!. .`!.     ,..  :
           d88888888888b'             `!`!!.`.   ,!'`. :
   _,ooooo888888Pd88PY88b             .`.!!`!:!. !'  `!:
 ddPY8PPPP"'     888' Y88b          ,!'!!:!.`!:!(!    !:
`"'             ]88P   Y8P'        ,!' `!!`!  `'!,     :
 ---------------------------------..:...:.........,----'-----------

And by the power of Monster Island, here’s my favoritest of all, made by the inspiringly talented ru_debega, who got right to the heart of what Godzilla is really all about, that fantasy that we all share: Being the monster. Stompin’ cities silly. Rawrin’ and spewin’ fire while your dorsal plates glow. Aw. Yeah. Ichiban!



Thanks to everyone who’s joined in with this and previous random art assault assignments. Keep your eyes peeled and your pencils, pens, paints and styluses ready for more in the near future!

M-A

You can thank Will from Journy Round My Skull (a phenomenal and consistently gorgeous outsider/ephemeral art blog) for finding these rough-hewn, artfully cluttered and beautifully haunting pieces, created by none other than Hans Christian Andersen himself.



As a bonus, this one even includes (what appears to be) two very amorous gentlemen, taking a romantic buggy ride. Awwww!

To see larger scans of these great pieces, plus a few more by Andersen, head over to the blog and check out the recent entries, too. There’s lots to love at My Skull.

G'day.

How about drawing Godzilla for me?

You know you wanna.

Because Godzilla is the damn man.

As with last week's Whale (with Optional Commie Bunny), here's an art assignment to give you a way to kill boredom/bulk up your portfolio, get some practice, or have some honkin' fun today. Here's your starting point and I'm warning you right now, it's a fuckin' Haiku that doesn't entirely follow the Haiku rules (does that make it a Senryū or something?):

In summer we danced
Just me and the wasp woman
Free royal jelly

Do what you will with this and share your creation in comments and your own journal (link back here if you're a nice sort of person). It can be a line drawing, painting, song, video sketch, a photograph, an mp3 of you reciting the lines, or maybe you're one of those nifty folks who likes to pen such poetry in snazzy calligraphy. Whatever your game is, play it with this poem and show off the results.

I'm waiting.

M-A

I just received a sparkling print of this beautiful collection of vacuum cleaner designs by Swedish design artist Mattias Adolfsson, whose blog should damn well be on your subscription list. On a near-daily basis, he provides sketches and watercolor paintings of odd, endearing, hyper-kooky characters, scenes and familiar objects rendered in unfamiliar ways.

His art is fresh, weird and adorable without being saccharine or childish. I dig the hell out of it and I can’t wait to get a frame for my Staubsauger print. If you’d like some wacky Swedish art of your very own, check out his shop for original pieces and prints, or you can look through his blog and e-mail him should you find a piece there that you absolutely must have.

Adolfsson was also kind enough to include a small original piece, featuring a little man with his beloved vacuum. What a nice guy – thanks, Mattias!

azdaja_dafema drew this gigglingly weird and charm-laced rendition of the Ant Queen mentioned this insecticide lament. Aces!

(Via VVORK)

Not enough in the way of oddly homoerotic lackadaisical poofy-pants combat art for ya? Skip on over to BibliOdyssey for a whole host of images from ’De Arte Athletica by Paulus Hector Mair, some raving violence-loving fag from the 16th century.

Something telling occurs when photos of random people of various types are collected together, by type. Conformity, thy name be Subculture! Check out Rotterdam-based photographer Ari Versluis and profiler Ellie Uyttenbroek's Exactitudes Project.

Yoko Ono: The Tate Gallery Lecture from Yoko Ono on Vimeo.