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                It’s a party. It’s a party in a big building, which I cannot name (Thanks, NDA!), a big building in Midtown Manhattan, on Broadway, way up on a high floor, overlooking a theatre with an Abba musical marquee. It’s a holiday party. I’m meeting people from other departments, networks, floors, shows and a few teens, who have won some kind of sweepstakes.

I’m talking to a line producer from the most offensive trashclusterfuck network. The one which -  over the course of twenty-five or so odd years – supped on the brains of teenagers and turned a cavalcade of mini-generations into shrieking, vapid, entitlement-obsessed zombies. She’s got a drink with a big-tittied mermaid swizzle stick and she’s chewing on her ice, loudly chewing on her ice, spitting big chunks of her ice back into the swizzling whirlpool of slightly slushy red liquid. She asks if I’m Jewish. “Yes, apparently, I am. Genetically Jewish, but not religiously so. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, you look Jewish. The nose. If you’re not religiously Jewish, what are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, what’s your religion?”

“I don’t have one.”

“Oh, so you’re like a mix of just everything, then. Hahahaaaaa!”

“No, I’m an Atheist.”

“Oh, wow. You see, I’m not religious. I’m spiritual.”

Great. She’s spiritual. I love “spiritual” people. They’re walking factories of hilariously inane, unmitigated, dadaist logorrhea. “Spiritual” people come in a few varieties. A few are simply religious people who are so intimidated by Atheists that they revert to a neutral position, in order to avoid definitive friction. I thank them for that.

Others are people in some kind of mental and emotional crisis, for which they feel the need to use abstract and (for the most part) unrelated mythological metaphors in order to process their interpersonal situation. They’re not so much defensive about it as they are confused and desperately trying to assert some kind of insta-guru authority. They…are difficult to converse with for extended periods of time without feeling the need to threaten to urinate in their mouths, should they continue moving them.

But most “spiritual” people are really people who haven’t put much thought into this topic and have learned that being vague about belief, in word and thought, is easier for them. It’s hard to say how wise, lazy or deluded this is. I will say that these people seem to chew their ice a lot.

Just something I’ve observed.

Anywho, this particular spiritual person, this spiritual line producer; let’s call her Sally, Sally asks me how it’s even possible to “not believe in anything,” and I inform Sally that I believe in quite a few things, herself included, her big-tittied swizzlemaid, and my Mr. Potatohead shirt, too. I believe in all of those things. Still do. Though I haven’t seen the Potatohead shirt, since I gave it to my friend, Dan, so I can’t say that I definitively believe in it anymore. Not until I see it again. Until then, it’s just a possibility.

“But nothing like God or some energy, you know? Some energy that nourishes us or made us?”

“Um, well, physics and evolution were probably what created and sustain us, and believe me, I think highly of both of them; but since neither can think back, I don’t see the point in having any kind of personal relationship with either of them.”

“But don’t you get sad and hopeless without something there for you always?”

“That’s what other people are for, I think.”

After the party, I walked to the river and watched the lights of the cargo ships dance around in the waters’ wake, a bubbling brown cauldron of atoms and infinitely in-reaching particles or strings, or whatever mysterious new question came up yesterday or next week, drank all that in and was too full to need any bloody grail.






( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 17th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
“But don’t you get sad and hopeless without something there for you always?”

Have you seen A Brief History of Disbelief?
Jul. 17th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
No, but I really should watch it one of these days...
Jul. 17th, 2007 08:12 pm (UTC)
I will always love you.
Jul. 17th, 2007 08:41 pm (UTC)
While I don't *understand* them any better than you do, I have to disagree with you about what spiritual people *are*.

Spirituality is a normal human function. It's no different than introversion. Some people require it for psychological well being.

“But don’t you get sad and hopeless without something there for you always?”

That's half the key to it, right there. Just like you and I will go stark raving batshit if people don't leave us the fuck alone most of the time, spiritual people will lose their fucking marbles without that feeling. It's a feeling, not a thought process. It's inherently not logical. It isn't the way *my* mind works, but that doesn't make it abnormal, or the lack of a thought process on the part of the person making the claim. It's just that those people are not wired for thinking, in that sense. They're wired for *feeling*. That's what they need to remain psychologically sound. I find it to be merely frustrating to deal with, because it's something I can only accept in others. I will never understand it, because it's not something I'm capable of experiencing.

I also find a distinct split in personality *type* amongst the spiritual and the religious, but then we get all MBTI and I fling a bunch of letters around.

(also, I know what building you were in, down to the actual address. Damn that whole "Where in NYC" game!)
Jul. 20th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)

I don't disagree with this, actually, though I think that my point here is that that feeling can be obtained via secular means. I understand being addicted to the religious-spirituoso endorphinehappies. I love the shit. Best drug ever made.

But it doesn't need to come in a double pack with fake stuff we pretend is true.
Jul. 17th, 2007 09:08 pm (UTC)
nice, as always...permission to post to reader's list?
Jul. 17th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC)
Go for it :)
Jul. 19th, 2007 01:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks, babe!
Jul. 17th, 2007 09:43 pm (UTC)
This reminds me of something I said to some one the other day,

"Physics and evolution as solutions for coping with everyday life is like asking a macro economist to balance your personal checking account."

*muddling through on skepticism and personal choices*
Jul. 17th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
I tend to call my belief system "casserole". None of them have anything to do with God (no offense to your brother or anything), but I had a tough time with Xians from when I first read the bible at age 11 and found that I'm supposed to be inherently bad and in lots of pain every month because some ditz ate an apple? Yeah, no. I have NEVER, however, gone about saying that I'm "spiritual", I never begin a conversation on religion with anyone (how rude!), and I never chew ice. Ever.

Your two-tone hair is friggin' awesome, by the way, and you are as hot as ever. If anyone needs something to believe in, I say that they should just trust in M-A's Incendiary Hotness, and leave it at that. Cuz DAMN, okay?
Jul. 18th, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
Sublime as always. :)

I hate ice crunchers!

love and stuff. :)
Jul. 18th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Doesn't it mean you're sexually frustrated when you're crunching ice?
Jul. 18th, 2007 01:50 am (UTC)
If that's true, it would explain a lot.
Jul. 18th, 2007 03:53 am (UTC)
Some people say the opposite -- you're INSATIABLE!!!

There is a whole site dedicated to the topic of ice chewing! Example:

OK. I am eating about 8 pounds of ice a day. 1 bag and a half of Penguin ice. I feel really puffy and don't know what is going on with me??!!

Jul. 19th, 2007 05:07 pm (UTC)
It's because of this kind of post that I added you to my list. Thank you.

Just for the record I'm an atheist that chews my ice and I'm also sexually frustrated. Although I still chew ice when I'm sexually satisfied. Maybe I'll take note and see if I chew more or less when satisfied.
Jul. 19th, 2007 05:28 pm (UTC)
My pleasure - Perhaps ice-chewing has less to do with sexual frustration and more to do with...I dunno, something akin to teething.
Jul. 21st, 2007 02:04 am (UTC)
What a beautiful entry.
Jul. 21st, 2007 04:07 am (UTC)
Thanks :)
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )


Putt-Putt Purgatorio
Marc-Anthony Macon

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